Smooch and Relate

BOOK REVIEW

On the way home from Seattle, I had the chance to finish Dr. Donna Gibbs' book Kiss & Tell: Truths That Will Transform Your Marriage. This compact work (under 150 pages) was given to me; and honestly, I wish I had known about it a couple of years ago, about the time it was published -- it might have been a real help in my own marital situation.

Dr. Gibbs, or "Dr. Donna" as she is known in her home community of Hendersonville, North Carolina, is a Christian counselor specializing in marriage work. In her book, she offers ten principles which she recounts as Biblical keys to a successful marriage. They are: (1) centering the marriage on Christ; (2) praying (together); (3) healthy communication; (4) protecting the marriage against the "unacceptables"; (5) preparing for and dealing well with stress; (6) good financial priorities, planning, and management as a couple; (7) investing in quality time; (8) studying to be the expert on your partner; (9) competing to put the other's needs first; and (10) making room for laughter.

None of these is a dramatic revelation, or rocket science. The book is poorly edited in spots, such as on p.127 where Hosea's wife is named as "Homer" rather than "Gomer". In numerous places, word choice or metaphors don't quite work. Still, these are quibbles. While not providing earth-shatteringly new information, the way in which
Gibbs weaves the insights together and humanizes them is uplifting and potentially very helpful, especially to couples who, like many, feel isolated and as though they must be unique in their struggles.

The gift of marriage is one of God's great gifts. This work, like the classics "Letters to Karen" and "Letters to Phillip", could be a good resource for premarital couples; or still more, I think, for those who are a couple of years into the marriage, beyond the honeymoon stage and well into the long-term serious work of making their union work.


[Gibbs, Donna. Kiss & Tell: Truths That Will Transform Your Marriage. Bloomington, Indiana: CrossBooks, 2009. xvii + 129 pp.]

Prince Frederick, Maryland (Providence)